Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
