hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
