Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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