i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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