He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
