you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
