So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
