I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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