Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
