The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
