Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize