I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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