Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
