I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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