I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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