Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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