Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize