I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
