i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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