sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
