if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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