I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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