stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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