Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
