Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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