Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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