I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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