it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
