If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
