Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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