Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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