Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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