Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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