Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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