The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
