Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
