Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
