It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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