This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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