"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
