try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
