you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
