HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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