I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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