so explain again why im purple
no
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
