You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
