you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Randomize
