His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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