walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
