Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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