he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
