shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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