I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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