how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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