i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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