I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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