Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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