Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
