But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize