Little spoons don't ask big questions
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
