I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Randomize
