Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
